Keeping the Peace in a Child Custody Dispute

Many counties in the state of North Carolina have a set of “parenting guidelines.” Following these guidelines can go a long way with a Judge, highlighting your willingness to do what’s truly in your children’s best interests. And once a judge enters a child custody order, the guidelines are often included as part of the Judge’s order requiring you to follow these guidelines. Therefore, it is important to follow them as soon as you find yourself in a child custody dispute.

Child Custody Parenting Guidelines

The standard guidelines for New Hanover and Pender Counties call for the parties to, in part:

Respect the need for the children to have frequent contact with both parents as well as the need for each parent to have input into child-rearing decisions.
Communicate and cooperate consistently and effectively with each other toward the best interest of their child, encouraging the free flow of information about the child between them.
Keep the other party updated regarding home address and telephone number and inform the other party of any changes.
Keep the child in a clean, wholesome environment at all times. The child should not be exposed to the use of controlled substances, excessive use of alcohol, or any condition hazardous to the welfare of the child.
Each party shall have direct access to the child’s doctors, dentist, or other physical or mental health care provider, the same as if the parent were the sole custodian of the child. Neither party shall attempt to inhibit the free flow of information from any of the child’s health care providers to the other party. Each party shall immediately notify the other party of any information obtained regarding the health and general welfare of the child.
Conduct themselves in a manner which promotes the cooperation and involvement of the other on any matter which concerns the mental, physical, emotional, and moral well-being of the child.
Refrain from saying or doing anything in the presence of the child that would interfere with the natural love, affection, or respect that the child has for the other parent.
Refrain from discussing the conduct of the other parent in the presence of the child.
Inform any subsequent spouse, the child’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. of the conditions of the guidelines or any court Order.

Each of the guidelines listed calls for mutual respect and understanding for what the children are enduring. Adhering to these standards, or similar ones, eases the children into what would otherwise be a more difficult adjustment. An added plus, it will likely make the adjustment easier for you, too!

Complete List of Child Custody Parenting Guidelines

You can find the full list of parenting guidelines here.

Contributed by Sydney Reynolds, Legal Intern