Courtesy and Respect Goes a Long Way In Handling a Divorce

Breaking News of the Separation

Courtesy and respect goes a long way in your favor in handling a divorce.  When possible, its better to let your spouse know that you plan to leave the marriage.  Certainly safety trumps courtesy and respect.  Therefore, if there is domestic violence, drug use, or where your spouse presents a danger to you or your children, getting out fast and protecting your safety is priority one.  However, when safety is not an issue, courtesy and respect goes a long way in handling a divorce.

A friend of mine recently learned his wife abandoned him by an email from the paralegal of his wife’s lawyer.  There was no advance notice.  The wife moved out while the husband was at work telling the children and neighbors but not her husband.  And the opposing lawyer did not even have the courtesy to call.  Rather, she had her paralegal email him.  This seems far worse than breaking up by text and quite disrespectful after a long term marriage.

Serving a Lawsuit

To add injury to insult, when the wife finally sued him (after agreeing to resolve their issues out of court through a professional mediator), her lawyer was over the top aggressive in serving the lawsuit.  She sent the Sheriff’s Deputy to his home waking up his daughter, to work embarrassing him, and then attempted to serve the same paperwork by certified mail a second and third time at his home and his work.

These heavy handed tactics often make it more difficult to resolve things in a friendly amicable manner.  You catch more flies with honey.  You don’t have to compromise your legal case and you don’t have to give up money to which you are otherwise entitled.  Giving a little courtesy and respect may save you a great deal in attorney fees and unneeded court hearings.  Because when you start with vinegar the other side is often insulted and more likely to escalate matters simply because they were disrespected.

A Little R E S P E C T

We like to discuss with our clients the manner in which the opposing party will be notified.  We want out clients to have the opportunity to indicate their preference as to how this should be done.  And quite frankly, we have had clients who wanted us to serve their wife or husband on their birthday or anniversary just to be mean and we declined such tactics.

We are nice to opposing counsel.  This does not mean that we compromise your position.  We simply treat the other attorney with respect.

Playing hardball in negotiations and playing hardball in court is fine.  Being mean simply to be mean only hurts our clients and we don’t do that.  Not only does it prolong things but it often results in costing the individual more.