Changing the name of your baby

After you have chosen a name for your baby, changing the child’s name may be difficult if not impossible. This issue often arises when mom has custody and remarries and wishes the child to have a different surname. Some mothers have fought in court to change the surname of their children to that of their new husband while others have sought to change the name to their maiden name or a combination of their maiden name and their father’s surname.

The rationale for this varies. Some mothers say they are uncomfortable at schools and social events. Others claim the children are embarrassed or the name is inconvenient and creates confusion for third parties.

In some states, a mother who has remarried may informally change a child’s surname to the step-dad’s name, regardless of whether the biological dad pays child support and exercises his visitation rights. Patricia Cook, What’s in a Name? The National Father’s Resource Center (2005) at fathers4kids.org.

Some states recognize that when there is a divorce and the mother is given custody of the children, the bond between the father and his children may be weakened if the children’s surname was to be changed. Therefore, some states do not allow a change of name against the father’s objection, merely to save the mother and child inconvenience or embarrassment. Robinson v. Hansel, 223 N.W.2d 138 (Minn. 1974). Other states will allow the name change if it is in the best interests of the minor children. See In re Application of Saxton, 309 N.W.2d 298, 300-01 (Minn. 1981); LaChapelle v. Mitten, 607 N.W.2d 151, 166 (Minn. App. 2000); Gleason v. Michlitsch, 728 P2d 965 (Or. App. 1986); Flowers v. Cain, 237 S.E.2d 111 (Va. 1977); Laks v. Laks, 25 Ariz.App. 58 (1975).

But this is absolutely not the case in North Carolina. The only way a child’s name can be changed in North Carolina is if both parents agree. In the Matter of the Change of Name of Crawford, 134 N.C.App. 137, 517 S.E.2d 161 (1999); N.C. Gen. Stat. § 101-2(d). It does not matter if it is in the best interests of the child. It does not matter if it leads to confusion or embarrassment or anything else. If one parent says no, the only way the name can be changed is by the child once that child reaches the age of eighteen.

And if the parent attempts to informally change the name in North Carolina, that might be viewed as parental alienation and a violation of the child custody order which may be punishable by contempt including jail time.