More children live with their grandparents today than in years past.
The U.S. Department of Census reports that 23% of children are regularly cared for by their grandparent(s) and that children are more likely to be cared for by grandparent(s) if the parents are separated, divorced, or were never married.1
About 5.7 million children (8% of all children in 2006) in the United States live with a grandparent and the majority (3.7 million) live in the grandparent’s home. In about 40% of these homes, no parent is present.2
The rights of a grandparent to visit with their grandchild or have custody has been a recent news topic. The highest courts in Hawaii, Pennsylvania, Colorado, and Utah have recently ruled on this issue.3 North Carolina continues to refine its case law on this issue in light of the United States Supreme Court’s decision in Troxel v. Granville in the year 2000.4 In that case, the Supreme Court determined that the State of Washington’s visitation statute allowing grandparent visitation violated the due process rights of parents to raise their children and determine whether they associate with their grandparent(s) or not.
In our practice, we see increasing numbers of grandparents as the primary caretaker for grandchildren especially as a source of child care. Young children sometimes spend more waking hours with their grandparent, even in an intact family, than with their parents who often have to work to support the family. As such, the bond between grandparent and grandchild is often strong.
When the family experiences a separation or divorce, a grandparent sometimes loses contact with their grandchildren through no fault of their own. This can be disruptive for the family and sometimes harmful to the minor child who experiences the disruption and instability of a change of child care provider. We are often asked what rights the grandparent has, if any.
In North Carolina, a grandparent has the right to claim custody and/or visitation with their grandchildren under certain circumstances, even over the objection of one or both parents. There are four statutes that permit a grandparent to maintain an action for custody or visitation of their grandchild; these are:
- Action or proceeding for custody of minor child (N.C. Gen. Stat. §50-13.1(a)) — “Any parent, relative, or other person, agency, organization or institution claiming the right to custody of a minor child may institute an action or proceeding for the custody of such child, as hereinafter provided.”
- Who entitled to custody; terms of custody; visitation rights of grandparents; taking child out of State (N.C. Gen. Stat. §50-13.2(b1)) — “An order for custody of a minor child may provide visitation rights for any grandparent of the child as the court, in its discretion, deems appropriate. As used in this subsection, “grandparent” includes a biological grandparent of a child adopted by a stepparent or a relative of the child where a substantial relationship exists between the grandparent and the child….”
- Action for visitation of adopted grandchild (N.C. Gen. Stat. §50-13.2A) — “A biological grandparent may institute an action or proceeding for visitation rights with a child adopted by a stepparent or a relative of the child where a substantial relationship exists between the grandparent and the child. Under no circumstances shall a biological grandparent of a child adopted by adoptive parents, neither of whom is related to the child and where parental rights of both biological parents have been terminated, be entitled to visitation rights. A court may award visitation rights if it determines that visitation is in the best interest of the child…”
- Procedure in actions for custody or support of minor children (N.C. Gen. Stat. §50-13.5(j)) — “In any action in which the custody of a minor child has been determined, upon a motion in the cause and a showing of changed circumstances pursuant to G.S. 50-13.7, the grandparents of the child are entitled to such custody or visitation rights as the court, in its discretion, deems appropriate. As used in this subsection, “grandparent” includes a biological grandparent of a child adopted by a stepparent or a relative of the child where a substantial relationship exists between the grandparent and the child. Under no circumstances shall a biological grandparent of a child adopted by adoptive parents, neither of whom is related to the child and where parental rights of both biological parents have been terminated, be entitled to visitation rights.”
As between parents, custody and visitation are generally treated by the courts as the same bundle of rights (with the exception of sole custody wherein visitation is clearly a distinct and separate right). However, with respect to grandparents’ rights, the court have clearly distinguished custody from visitation. Custody is much harder to obtain because our courts acknowledge that a parent has a fundamental right consistent with Troxel to control with whom the child associates.
Grandparents seeking visitation
A grandparent has the right to claim visitation with the child when he or she can intervene in an ongoing child custody case or the family is not “intact.” When there is an ongoing child custody case, a grandparent may intervene in the proceeding and file suit for custody or visitation. See Sharp v. Sharp, 124 N.C. App. 357, 477 S.E.2d 258 (1996). Often, a grandparent will file a motion to intervene shortly after one parent sues for custody simply to preserve their visitation rights with the child in the event that their son or daughter dies before the child becomes an adult. When one parent dies, sole custody is usually vested in the living parent by operation of law. A grandparent does not have standing to sue for visitation upon a parent’s death. See Price v. Breedlove, 138 N.C. App. 149, 530 S.E.2d 559 (2000); Montgomery v. Montgomery, 136 N.C. App. 435, 524 S.E.2d 360 (2000). In fact, the Troxel case out of Washington State was initiated after one parent died.5
It is critical to file the motion to intervene before the case is resolved. A case is resolved through a settlement agreement or court order. Once the case is resolved through a settlement or permanent child custody order, there remains no ongoing case and the grandparent may not intervene to seek visitation.
Also, once the parties separate, a child living with his or her parent can constitute an “intact” family such that the grandparent does not have grounds to intervene for visitation. See Eakett v. Eakett, 157 N.C. App. 550, 579 S.E.2d 486 (2003). The grandparent may have to wait to file an action for visitation when one of the parents brings an action for child custody and re-opens the custody matter.
In determining whether visitation will be granted, the court will hear evidence concerning the child’s bond with the grandparent, the amount of time spent together, the amount of care provided for the child by the grandparent and other evidence.
Grandparents seeking custody
In general, a grandparent has a right to custody when he or she can show that both parents are unfit or have acted inconsistent with their constitutionally protected status as the child’s natural parents. The grandparent cannot win custody merely by showing the grandchild would be better served in the grandparent’s custody or that it is in the best interests of the child. The grandparent must show that the parents are&nbps;not suitable parents or misconduct rising to the level of an abrogation of their constitutional rights. Parents are presumed to be appropriate custodians of their children and a grandparent has the burden of proof to show otherwise.
Examples of reasons for determining a parent unfit or has acted inconsistent with their constitutional rights may include drug use, substance abuse, alcoholism, child abuse, child neglect, abandonment of the child, voluntary relinquishment of custody even if temporary under some circumstances, failure to care for the minor child or provide support, among other reasons.
If both parents are determined to be unfit or have acted inconsistent with their constitutional rights, the trial court will determine custody of the child using a best interests test.
Legal procedure in grandparent custody cases
The legal procedure in grandparent custody cases is quite complex. Pleadings must state specific grounds for claiming visitation and/or custody. If the motion or complaint fails to include all of the proper elements, it may be dismissed by the Court for failure to state a claim upon which relief may be granted. See Eakett v. Eakett, 157 N.C. App. 550, 579 S.E.2d 486 (2003). As a result, it is strongly recommended that grandparents enlist the aid of an attorney who routinely practices family law to assist them with a grandparent child custody or visitation matter.
Aftermath
If the grandparent successfully obtains an order allowing custody or visitation, it is possible for grandparents to remain a part of their grandkids’ lives whether the parent(s) desire this or not.
Laws on grandparents’ rights vary from state to state. Other states, however, will generally give full faith and credit to a North Carolina court order as a result of the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act in 1980, which requires that each state give full faith and credit to child custody decrees from other states. Also, the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA), adopted by most states, requires courts in the state where a child resides to recognize and enforce valid child custody orders from another state.
58 Comments
We have a different situation. Our son and his wife are not separated or divorced, they are together. We moved to NC in July 2008 after living our entire lives in OH. One of the main reasons to relocate is our youngest son and his family live in Charlotte. We had a wonderful relationship with our son and daughter-in-law. Our son and his wife encouraged us to move, helped us look for houses and the house we purchased was found by our daughter-in-law. After some minor disagreements this summer and at Christmas, our daughter-in-law will not allow us to come to their home and pick up our granddaughters. She will not even meet us in a parking lot. The only way we can see them is if our son has time on the week-end, to meet us to get the grandaughters. We are devastated, our 5 year old granddaughter was spending the night here and we saw each other all the time. We saw our granddaughters for 4 hrs. in January and for our granddaughter’s 5th birthday on Feb. 7. Do we have any options? Up until the disagreements our daughter-in-law and I were good friends and we did things together all the time. We are so sad.
Thank you.
In the past 2 months my 18 year old nephew has moved in with his grandmother and has a 13 year old sister at home living with his father and step-mother. In recent days my 13 year old neice told us that her father will never let her see us again. Does my 18 year old nephew have any rights by NC Law to visit his sibling NOT at his father’s house but to have her come to his house? Can he file for visitation? Thank you in advance.
my son passed away in 08 and my daughter in law stopped me from seeing my grandson about 5 months but let me keep him and his sisters every weekend but stoped me from seeing him for no reason and i dont know what to do i wanna try and get my visitation rights would that be possible.
In NC if a child’s parents die and the grandparents are named as custodians in the will can it be contested? I was told that if one of the parent’s has a siblings they could take the child away from the grandparents because a sibling has more rights in NC than grandparents. Is this true?
Parents are presumed to know the best interest of their children. Any parent may by last will and testament recommend a guardian for any of his or her minor children. If both parents make such recommendations, the will with the latest date shall prevail. In the absence of a surviving parent, such recommendation shall be a strong guide for the clerk in appointing a guardian, but the clerk is not bound by the recommendation if the clerk finds that a different appointment is in the minor’s best interest.
The clerk has the power and authority on information or complaint made to remove any guardian appointed under the provisions of 35A, to appoint successor guardians, and to make rules or enter orders for the better management of estates and the better care and maintenance of wards and their dependents.
Any interested person may petition the clerk to exercise his or her authority under 35A; however, The jurisdiction of clerks of the superior court in the appointment of guardians of infants, etc., does not extend to cases where the petitioner asks for the custody of a child who had been placed by its mother under the control of another (In re Lewis, 1883, 88 N.C. 31) and would appear to revert the matter back to a best interest test under chapter 50.
My son and his girl friend are both 19. They had a baby girl 3 months ago. The girl friend let me see my grand daughter for her first month daily almost and then just decided to not let me anymore. She has decided to leave him if he comes around too. Is there anyway I can get visitation to see my grand daughter?
My sons mother recently passed away and emergency custody was given to his maturnal grandmother. If and when I get custody back will she have to whait the two years to petition for visitation since one petition has already been filed. I live in Colorado.
If the court order is governed by a State other than NC, you need to contact an attorney in that State.
We discovered our daughter was using drugs in July 2009. She wanted to take our 23 month old grandson out of our home-the two of them would live with us during the week while she worked and they would go home to her apartment for weekends). We called child protective services and we were granted kinshipcare. She has only seen him about 5 times since last June. She lost her job, was arrested twice for possesion. We bailed her out and helped her get into a rehab program up near Asheville. She recently married one of the men in the program and they both left the program. We were hoping she would get the help she needed and be a part of her child’s life. This is not going to happen and we need to protect our grandson. Child protective services closed his case in December. Where do we go from here?
Deborah, Thanks for your post. Once a Chapter 7 (abuse and neglect matter is closed), we strongly recommend that grand parents in a situation similar to yours file a guardianship or child custody action.
Department of Social Services placed our infant granddaughter in our home under a “voluntary safety source” because the parents, ages 21 and 27, unmarried, were abusing drugs and alcohol and there were several violent incidents. They continue to drink and abuse alcohol. What would be the next step to gain actual legal custody? Can DSS do it or will we need to retain an attorney? We adopted our son’s first child by a different girl because of drug use, but we paid for an attorney after DSS failed to act and the baby ended up in the hospital. We do not want to adopt her, just gain legal custody so that we can guarantee her a stabile home until the parents get it together. She lives with her parents and her first child who is 2. Our son says he is trying to get into an Oxford HOuse. We are supporting him at this time because he does not have a job.
You need to hire an attorney to help you. You will most likely need to file a Chapter 50 child custody action. Please let us know if we can help.
My daughter moved back to NC and moved in with me when she was 8 mos pregnant becasue her boyfriend threw her out. My daughter is mentally unstable. My grandson was born on 2/28/11. She has no income. I have supported my daughter and my grandson 100% financially, emotionally, etc. Not baby daddy come around and wants them back. He is a convicted felon in NW GA and on intense probation. I have provided everything daughter and grandson need since Jan. She takes my grandson yesterday and runs away to GA! Back to the abusive relationship. Tells me I will never see my grandson again! I cant let my grandson down. Baby daddy refused to sign birth certificate at birth. Does he have rights? What right do I have as grandmother that has been supporting them both?
I have sole custody of my son from another state. Do I have to allow his father to see him. Since we have lived here, he has exposed him to drug activity, used and sale, in addition to a unsavory life style.
Thanks
It depends on what the custody order requires. If he is allowed visitation, then you should ask the Court to modify the order to prevent visits because of the substantial risk caused by his drug activity. If no one lives in the issuing state, you can file here in North Carolina. If the father continues to live in the issuing state, you must litigate custody modifications in that State.
The father does have rights to the child and he can enforce those through a child custody action. Since the minor child lived with you in North Carolina for more than six months and has not yet been in Georgia for six months, you may be able to file a child custody action here in North Carolina. To “win,” you have to prove that both your daughter and the father are unfit or have acted inconsistent with their constitutionally protected status as the child’s natural parent. You should see an attorney ASAP!
I’ll try to make this as brief as possible. We reside in North Carolina. My parent adopted my sisters 2 children 10 yrs ago. Her and her husband were getting divorced and they both decided that it would be in the best interest of the children if they were raised by my parents. The birth father hasn’t been in the picture since the adoption, my sister has been. Soon after the adoption my sisters whole attitude changed. My guess is that the freedom from responsibility went to her head. A few years after the adoption my father passed. My sister moved in with us soon after. She couldn’t afford to live on her own. Since then my sister has basically been a bully to my mom. (Cussing her , getting in her face, throwing money at her , flipped over a table etc…) If she wanted to go out and do her thing she always pointed out that my parents signed on the dotted line and she didn’t have any children. She played the “mommy” card when it was convenient. We’ve asked her to get her own place on several occasions and she’s always refused. It got to the point where we had no choice, we had to go to court to make her get out. All this time she’s never questioned the adoption or what it meant. Now that she no longer lives with us she’s saying my parent stole her children, and she was tricked into the adoption. Even after we “put her out” my mother tried to meet her places with the children , restaurant, movies etc.. each time it was a nightmare. She’d tell the children they were stolen from her, that we were all liars. She’s even told the youngest that we didn’t love him. She even called DSS claiming the kids were being neglected by my mom and physically abused by me. DSS did not come to that conclusion. She had my mother served with papers recently claiming that regardless of what she’s signed 10 yrs ago she’s still been acting as the children’s mother. Now she’s asking for custody/visitation rights. My question is, could the court actually grant her request?
Our son in law is a Marine stationed in NC and is currently deployed. He and our daughter have a 5 yr old son and they are still married. Our daughter recently had a child w/ another Marine out of wedlock; she plans to file for divorce; and has sworn we’ll never see our 5 yr old grandson again. What options do we have to ensure some sort of visitation with our grandson? Do we file some sort of petition w/ tne NC court? We live in TN, as does his other set of grandparents . . .
My 10 yr old nephew has resided with my mother (his maternal grandmother) since the age of 1 1/2 to 2yrs old. We (my mother, steph father and myself) have been the ones who ensure he gets to school everyday, we are the contacts on school & medical forms, we have been the providers for him his entire life (in addition to my fathers side of family as well on holidays, family gatherings etc). As of this week my sister (his mother) has come and taken him to live with her & her husband. There was never a guardianship/custody arrangement in place she voluntarily left him with my mother and agreed it was in his best interest. She has been in and out of his life forever and more recently been a visiting parent or occassional over night visits. She & her husband both have a history of drug use, domestic violence (he has criminal record) and drastic mood swings/mental stability. The cost of a attorney is a tremendous fear and concern right now but the safety of my nephew is f uptmost importance. Aside from DSS what avenue will be best to ensure his return to the only “home” he has known his entire life. Are there any agencies that help the grandparents seek guardianship in North Carolina?
The best avenue is to file an action for child custody. The mother may have acted inconsistent with her constitutionally protected status as the child’s natural parent. See an attorney ASAP!
Unless she is unfit or has acted inconsistent with her constitutionally protected status as the child’s natural parent, you have no standing to seek custody or visitation. However, if there is pending litigation between her and the father, you can intervene and seek visitation. See a licensed attorney in NC ASAP!
Yes but only if the Court found that the adopted parents were now unfit or acted inconsistent with their rights. So I doubt she has much of a case based on the facts as you related them.
My daughter and son-in-law have divorced and recently remarried others. When my daughter remarried, she moved to another city and our relationship becamed strained (her new husband wanted us out of her and our grandbaby’s life). My daughter is always been very close to me and my husband her entire life. My daughter and her first husband moved to live beside us. I went to every obgyn doc appt with her and was in the delivery room when my grandson was born. I quit my career so that I could stay home and be his caregiver for 2 years. Well, her new husband has accomplished what he wanted. We have not seen or spoken with my daughter or seen our grandson in going on 9 months now. Her first husband was going to let me spend time with my grandson on the weekends he had him, but she threaten him with court and more child support, so he backed off and won’t let us seem him now either. What rights do we have in obtaining visitation. How could we check to see if their custody orders have been finalized, so that we might could file a petition for visitation. How could we find out if its reopened in the future so we might could file then. Please help. Its like they have died, but I didn’t have a funeral or mourning.
Go to the county in North Carolina where the child custody action was litigated and the Clerk will tell you if there are any pending issues.
If custody is still pending, you can file a motion to intervene in the action.
If not, unless you can prove that both your daughter and her ex-husband are unfit or have acted inconsistent with their constitutionally protected status (a VERY High burden), you will not be able to do anything until there is a new motion pending regarding child custody.
You should consider consulting with an attorney. They could “watch” the file for you and alert you when the custody matter becomes pending again.
Best wishes and thanks for reading our blog!
my wife and i split up for a lil while back and me and another had a baby iwent back to my wife and two kids of ours and now my ex girlfriend died and her parents took my son and tryin to take him from me by law do they have the right he is 17 months old and they have keep him from me i have got him 4 times since birth and now they trying to get custody of him and let me get supervise visitaion they have sent dss to my house 4 times and they cant find nothing wrong with my wife kids or me i have got a lawer and we go to court on the 18th of this month do they have a good case against me and i was told by law they cant take him from me unless they find me unfit which they cant bc my kids are my world they are my number 1 priority thanks
My son has a daughter now 4years old,he and the mother never married. For over two years we have been denied visitation. She took the child and just refuses to allow us to see her. My son pays child support through the court. I do not want custody, just visitation and a chance to get to know my granddaughter as do my her other siblings.
She refuses to let us know where she lives and will not respond to phone calls or texts.what recourse do I have.
Your son would need to file a lawsuit for child custody/visitation before you would have any right to seek visitation. You can seek custody but would have to prove that both your son and the child’s mother are unfit or have acted inconsistent with their constitutionally protected status as the child’s natural parents.
I am glad you have a lawyer to help you with this. Follow his or her advice!
My husband’s wife came to live us in TN in 2007 when she wished to separate temporiarly with 2 grandsons ages 1 and 5. Her husband came to TN for she wanted to stay here. Over a tumulent 4 years of them living with us, moving to 3 different apartments with fights, drugs, alcolhol and abuse to mother and verbal abuse to grandchldren. The kids stayed with us most of the time and all the time when mother moved back in on several occassions. After 3 years of husband unemployment he moves back to NC swearing he’ll get employment, find a job and stable apartment as of May, 2010. After 3 months in year 2010 and she and the boys living here, he did none of those things, just lived with his mother. As of August, 2010, mother had filed for divorce and has had a stable job the entire 3 years in TN to care for her children. Father found out about divorce and came across state lines with an Emergency Child Custody claim written in NC which was null and void over state lines. Father took kids from their daycare and elementary school and fled back to NC while mother was at work and we were home waiting for their bus.
Mother retained an attorney in TN and NC but after 4 weeks – the mother couldn’t stand to be without her children and left with husband.
He’s extremely abusive physically and mentially to mother and mentially abusive to children. They are all scared to death of him. Since then – this past year – he’s held a loaded gun to her mouth, and since arrested for domestic violance now grabs her by the hair and other areas where it can’t be seen. They both abuse drugs, he cocaine, alochol and various prescription drugs he can get his hands on and she now wants to slip in to obliviane state and goes to every doctors to prescibe her nerve drugs. The kids are the victims here. There is no one in that town – even though family lives there that will help the children now 5 and 10yrs. Both had affairs both obviously wants out, but father is a control freak and doesn’t want anyone to take wife or children away. Both are clearly uncapible of raising two fine children. Are there any Grandparent laws for TN residents to better their grandchildrens welfare and safty? When two parents are self-absorbed and do not think of their children first???
My 22 yr old son and his girlfriend are not together,she is pregnant with his child.She will not divulge fetus status information nor anything rtelated to child to him.He works 2 jobs and wants to be a father to his child.The fetus’ mother is a full time college student.What can my son (and I) do NOW to assure that he gets the chance at a relationship with his child?
File an action to legitimate the child as soon as the child is born. And also file an action for custody/visitation. This will ensure all of his rights.
Your post is a little difficult to follow. Under the Full Faith and Credit Clause of the US Constitution, a Court order on custody from North Carolina would be valid in TN. If the litigation continues in NC, you need to hire a NC attorney. Grandparents may assert visitation rights in an on-going child custody case or may file for custody if both parents are unfit and/or have acted inconsistent with their constitutionally protected status as the child’s natural parent.
Me and my husband separated 5 months ago due to a domestic violence issue. Since then he has began drinking heavily as he is an alcoholic and shows up for few visits. His father is the supervisor of the visits but because of his drinking yet don’t always get to see her I won’t let her go if he’s been drinking. I recently let our daughter stay the night with his parents because They asked and it’s a long drive for them. So I agreed to try it out. Everything went well and our daughter Had great time. So I didn’t mind letting her do it so often especially on the weekends that I work. But they wanted her to spend the night with them on different holidays ( thanksgiving and Christmas, etc.) that I feel are important for her to be with me. Now there upset and are pushing their son to fight for custody and I think they may push for grandparent rights as well. I’m worried because they have a lot of money and being a single mom I don’t have a lot to fight in court. What kind of rights could they get? I don’t want to have to split custody with them and I’m worried about them having her around their son when he’s drinking. I don’t mind them visiting with her on holidays but since my husbands mother dosnt like me I feel their tryig to push me out of my own Childs life? Might I have to split holidays with them? Thanks for any advice I can get.
You should consult with an attorney so that he/she can get all the facts and provide you with advice specific to your situation.
Generally, grandparents cannot get custody unless both parents are unfit and/or have acted inconsistent with their constitutionally protected status as the child’s natural parents. They can, however, get visitation.
See an attorney!
Hello, I have a 2 yrs old grand-daughter who I hardly get to see because of her mother. When she get mad with my son , she won’t allow me to see her. This has been going on for 2 yrs…what can I do as a grand-parent.
Unless the parents are unfit or have acted inconsistent with their constitutionally protected status, then you cannot seek custody. You can seek visitation but only if the parents are litigating child custody or the home is no longer an intact home. You should consult with an attorney for specific advice about your situation.
I CALLED DSS ON MY SON-IN LAW. I ACTUALLY SAW HIM SEXUALLY ABUSE MY 3 YR OLD GRANDDAUGHTER. MY GRANDSON, 7YRS OLD TOLD HIS MOM AND ME THAT WHEN DADDY SLEEPS WITH HIM (IN A BUNKBED) THAT THEY DON’T WEAR THERE UNDERWEAR. A SS WORKER DID INTERVIEW THEM. THE CHILDREN DENIED EVERYTHING.
NOW I AM NO LONGER WELCOME IN THEIR HOME AND CANNOT SEE MY GRANDCHILDREN.I SAW THEM REGULARLY, TWO TO THREE TIMES A WEEK AND SAT WITH THEM EVERY OTHER SUNDAY.
WHAT CAN I DO TO SEE MY GRANDCHILDREN?
My step-daughter is separated from her husband. They’ve not filed any separation papers. They have two children – age 7 & 5. So far, she keeps them Sunday night – Wednesday night and he keeps them Thursday night – Sunday.
He has moved his girlfriend and her three children into his home. These children are on medication for ADD or Autism.
He has threatened to not let us see our grandchildren when he has them.
We have been a part of the grandchildren’s lives since birth. They spend the night at our house, go to church with us, etc. Since this separation, they’ve hardly been able to go to church with us. Only when their Mom has them are we able to see them.
Do we need to go ahead and file for our visitation rights?
You should consult with an attorney. Generally, you cannot file for visitation unless there is an on-going custody dispute (so your step-daughter may have to file for custody first).
Talk with an attorney about your situation.
Mr. Williams:
My wife and I have a grandson through my stepson (my wife’s natural son) and a girl that were never married and are now separated. Our grandson will be 7 in Feb 2012. Custody has not been establish neither through a Court Order nor Consent Order. While we have been a big part of our grandson’s life for the 1st 6 years…his mother has not allowed me or my wife access since March 14th 2011. I would like to establish legal visitation rights. Our grandson lives with his mother. (1) Does that constitute an “intact” family? (2) Can we initiate action (Intervene) ourselves? Please advise.
wondering how things works if a family member adopted your kids and by mouth they promise to not keeps keeps away from their family and doest keep their promise is their any thing that can be done? father didnt lose his rights to those kids. and their family misses them soooo much. kids are older now and they have had time to grow its been 9 yrs and the first few years they kept their promise of letting father and family see them kids.
You should speak directly with a lawyer about your specific situation so that they can obtain all of the facts. Based on the limited information you provided, single mom living with the child can be an “intact family” under NC Law. Generally, the father would need to file a lawsuit for child custody before grandparents can intervene.
Best wishes!
Generally, an adoption extinguishes parental rights. Go see an attorney licensed in the jurisdiction where the children currently live and do it quickly!
Our daughter and her 3 children came to live in our home after a divorce for domestic violence and sexual assault. Our daughters x-husband has been indicted on spousal rape charges here in NC, and is awaiting a trial. He had 1 hr supervised visitation each week for about a year, supervised by me and my wife. He now has Fri. afternoon til Sun. morn before Church. He spends all of his time trying to twist the minds of the children and convince them of his brand of what the truth is. My wife and I have been the primary caretakers of these children as an intact family for probably 90% of their time over the last 4.5 years while they have lived here with us. Should we file for visitation/custody at this time, in case something happens to our daughter, or will the seriousness of the pending charges against her x-husband present a special set of circumstances in case of her death?
My son has been divorced for 5 yrs. & shares joint custody of our 7 yr old granddaughter. He is active duty Army & is deployed. He will be gone for approx. 1 year. Our granddaughters mother makes it very difficult for us to see her during his absence. During a previous deployment we litigated an agreement with the court that allowed us visitation in his absence. My husband & I have been married 25 yrs. & I raised his son. Our daughter in law now says I am not allowed to pick up our granddaughter only the “biological” grandparent. On a previous deployment I was allowed to pick her up from school & have shared many wonderful afternoons with her. Can she do that? Are there any laws that protect the military during deployments? Thank you
My step daughter and her estranged boyfriend have two children 1+ and a 4M old. She and the children have lived in my home for over a year. She has no means of support other then foodstamps and medicaid provided for the children. The boyfriend has failed to provide any means of support other then the occasional box of diapers. Shortly after the birth of the second, the boyfriend under the guise of lessening her burden took the older child under his care and refuses to return him. The police state there is nothing they can do. What are my daughters options and chances should she sue for custody?
Mr. Williams
My sister passed away in Oct 2005, two days after giving birth to a baby girl. My niece was in the hospital from the time she was born until Jan 2006. She was released to her father & his parents. He was originally staying with his parents. I went to visit my niece & she even spent a weekend with me. He then started dating a younger lady & soon moved in with her, her mother, & her daughter, taking my niece with him. While living there he was involved in a shooting incident, where he was shot in the shoulder, my niece was in the house at the time. He has always said that he’s an “Old G” and involved in a gang & it’s believed that the shooting was gang affiliated. His mother tried to get him to move back in with her or at least give my niece to her to raise but he won’t. He would allow his mother & father to pick her up on weekends & we would see my niece through her grandparents. Things ended up going sour between his girlfriend & his mother & his mother has called DSS on him & his girlfriend. Now he won’t allow his parents to see her. My sisters & I have gone to his house to try and visit but the girlfriend answered the door, lied & said he wasn’t there even though we saw him peeping out the blinds. We were very nice to the girlfriend (as always) but she is just so difficult & mean & evil. She proceeded to curse at us & made a few threats. My niece is 6 yrs old & we have always wanted to be apart of her life. We’ve brought gifts for her & sent her father money to help with expenses for her but still no visitation (except for when his parent’s sneaked her to us). What rights does my family have?
Is there anything that we can do whether it be grandparents’ rights for my mother and father or anything? I don’t want my niece growing up thinking that we don’t love her & that we don’t care for her. We want a relationship with her but her father & his girlfriend are making it really difficult. We aren’t trying to take her from them, we just want to be allowed visitation. We believe that they aren’t allowing us to have visitation because they are afraid that we may try to take custody of her. If they are doing what they should to raise her right then we don’t want custody but if we are able to see and prove that she is being abused or neglected (that’s just hearsay right now) but if we can prove that then we do want custody but for now all we want is visitation.
You should speak with an attorney licensed to practice in your jurisdiction. If this is in North Carolina and there is no child custody order in place, your daughter (the children’s mother) probably needs an attorney and you need a different attorney. A custody order needs to be obtained as soon as possible. Your best course of action depends on several facts which are not indicated in the above post and that is why you need to speak with a lawyer ASAP. Good luck.
The NC Legislature enacted N.C. Gen. Stat. 50-13.7A which provides protections to military service personnel involved in a child custody dispute. I have included a link to the statute.
You need to speak with an attorney as soon as possible. Depending on the wording of the court order, an agent may be able to make the transfers. If not, it may be possible to modify that order.
Best wishes!
She needs to act sooner than later. She needs to hire an attorney to help her file an action for child custody ASAP! If she can’t afford an attorney, a program like our Virtual Law Office, would help her obtain the necessary paperwork that she could then file herself. Every day that passes with the children in his care will make it more difficult for her to get them back. So see an attorney ASAP or use the VLO.
me and my boyfriend has been together for 15yrs, we have 2 kids together and i have one that he has raised since he was 2. we had our kids taken from us due to drug addiction. 2kids were put in foster care the other was given to my mother-in-law, my boyfriends mother. she was given custody and promised when we got our stuff together that she would give him back. we went thru intensive livein drug treatment and got better. after a yr 2 kids were given back to us from dss and our case was closed. we never took his mother to court bc of the heart ache it would cause the entire family and bc we concidered there emotions over ours. we live in nc and they live in wv they always have. we have always went in every month to see him, has always been in his life on a regular basis. he calls me mom and him dad and the grandparent that has him he calls nana. well after 5yrs we have always wanted him back but bc nana is very weathly we were very intimidated by her and her threats, when she was angry with us she would deney us visits, our visits were at her descretion so we had to play by her rules at all times just to see him. after 5yrs of just being beaten up by her rules emotionally and mentally we could not take it anymore. we have tried talking with her about a legal visitation schedule or custody back into our home and she will not discuss it with us. finally we took her to court here in nc bc we were not given a visiation schedule here in nc 5yrs ago, so they heard our case. she has fought us all the way, we got once a month visitation 5wks in the summer here in nc(we never had that before) only 1wk a year before. the courts were on ourside, we had to prove our self to dss, we had to provide random drug screenings which were all negative. she is very angry at us for doing this. now we have a actual visitation order to where she cannot munipulate our visits anymore. MUCH BETTER THIS WAY. but she is still given us a hard time and trying to make it a living hell for us. we want more time and we would love for him to come live with us. he has a awesome relationship with his brother and sister. his nana is a RN and works all the time. i am a stay at home mom and my husband makes a very good imcome at about 18.00 per hour. we have 3 cars and own everything we have. we live pretty good. he loves coming here to visit and really wants to be with us. what can we do to get him back and do we have a chance. the nana keeps bringing up our past and tells everyone that we are aweful ppl. she has even called dss on us several times which has never led to anything but a unfounded statement. she is literlly making our life a living hell and we sincerly dont feel that her home is best for our child, only because she is not sensetive to his emotions around this, and bc she lies and munipulates everything. but she has everyone fooled into thinking she is a christian person that everyone loves and that is good. please give us advice on what to do and what you think is best for our family and other kids involved. thanks
Talk to an attorney licensed to practice law in the area where your niece lives ASAP. If she is in North Carolina and dad is involved in gang activity that subjects her to danger, there is a possibility that you or your parents could bring an action for child custody. If you can prove him unfit or that he has acted inconsistent with his constitutionally protected status as a parent, you have a case.
~Mark
Sounds like your lawyer helped you get back involved in your children’s life (or you did an incredibly good job representing yourself). Follow your lawyer’s advice, keep a journal, stay drug free, and take every opportunity to visit with your children.
My nephew is in prison in NC. His son was born 4 months after his prison term began. His son is now 13 months old. The baby’s mother now has another son (by another man)..this baby was born prematurely. The baby’s mother reportedly is planning to move out of her mother’s home and into a living arrangement with the father of her second child. What rights do my sister and her husband have as grandparents?
I assume the child lives in North Carolina? If so, talk with a NC licensed attorney so that he/she can get all the facts regarding this situation. In general, your nephew should be able to file an action for child custody/visitation even though he is in prison. Unless your sister and her husband (the grandparents) intervene in the custody action, they cannot seek visitation/custody unless both the mother and the father are unfit parents. This is a complicated area of law that depends heavily on the facts of a particular case. That is why they need to meet with an attorney so the attorney can gather all of the required facts to properly advise them.
Recently my daughter and I have come to an impass about her forthcoming marriage and pregancy. She has given birth to two other children whom she does not have primary custody of. The older of the two children lived with me for a period of 4 years while she was suposedly getting her life together. Last year the father of the oldest child sued and got primary custody of the child with my daughter having visitation. Until recently I was allowed to see and speak to my grand-daughter. Since the forthcoming wedding has been a dore subject, my daughter has spoken to the custodial father and they have agreed to not let me see or speak to my granddaughter. Can I seek visitation with my granddaughter now that a custody determination, or is that a lost cause?
Generally in North Carolina after there is a child custody order in place, until one parent files a motion to modify custody, a grandparent cannot intervene for visitation. We always recommend you speak with an attorney about your specific situation.